From compliance to connection: Shifting how we support neurodivergent learners
- syoung679
- 10 hours ago
- 5 min read
By Mary Klovance (she/her), founder of The Neurodiversity Family Centre, counsellor, ADHD specialist, and teacher, Victoria
Neurodivergent students often feel different, excluded, and deeply misunderstood, especially in a school system that just doesn’t seem to be designed for their moving bodies and dopamine-driven focus. Likewise, when it comes to the success of neurodivergent students, teachers often wonder, “How do I get them to do the work?” But this is not the question we should be asking ourselves. Instead, we should be focusing on, “How can I remove barriers so that my students can be successful in my class?”
Neurodivergent students have a unique way of communicating and absorbing information. No two students are alike, and so providing opportunities to connect with and learn about your students is the best way to identify their preferred communication styles. Here are some ways to do this:
Create an initial assignment that links the course content with learning some personal details about students. For example, highlighting a current “hot topic” and having students share how it affects them personally.
Have a check-in question for attendance at the beginning of each lesson.
While students are settling in at the bell, walk around and ask students what they did on the weekend and/or what activities they have planned for the week.
Increasing opportunity for personal autonomy
One key trait of neurodivergence is the importance of personal autonomy, but here is where people get things wrong: we often think that autonomy is about allowing the student to choose what and how they are going to present their learning, but this can often be a roadblock for many overwhelmed students. Neurodivergent minds crave predictability in order to decrease anxiety, so it’s important to provide a framework of expectations. However, if there is too much rigidity within that structure, the neurodivergent brain can react defensively and shut down, which is often characterized by oppositional behaviour.
Project-based learning is something many schools have adapted into their curriculum. But when the scope of a project is too open, it can make it difficult for neurodivergent students—who already have difficulty with task initiation and decision fatigue—to choose a path. One of the gifts of neurodivergence is that it can help brainstorm so many fantastic ideas, which can make it hard to choose just one! All of this can increase overwhelm and trigger decision fatigue leading to mental shut down. Therefore, providing scaffolded options for students to choose from, such as option A, B, or C, and allowing each option to be adapted to better fit students’ needs and broken into smaller chunks, is an excellent way to provide much-needed structure and autonomy.
Reducing perceived demands in the classroom
Although teaching asks us to focus on the content of what we are communicating, the most important thing is how we communicate that information so that it can be received and remembered. And the great thing about adapting your communication style to be more inclusive is that it can work for everyone! In order to reduce perceived demands, there are several ways to communicate efficiently that I like to call “staying curious.” Here are some examples:
Ask questions: Instead of asking a student if they need help (perceived incompetence) or to do something (demand), you can ask questions:
“What are you working on?”
“What do you plan to do next?”
Noticing: This option can help take the focus off the student and shift it to yourself, which lowers student defensiveness:
“I noticed your binder is still in your cubby.”
“I see you’ve got a few papers on the floor here.”
“I don’t see your textbook on your desk.”
Wondering: This option is a more indirect way to cue the student to identify problems to be solved:
“I wonder what supplies you’re going to need to do this project?”
“I wonder where your textbook is?”
“I wonder what else you might want to be doing right now?”
Neurodivergent students have unique needs that are often left unmet in the standard classroom, and that can increase distracting behaviours. Take a moment and think about how often a neurodivergent student may be corrected throughout the day versus a neurotypical student. Because of this, neuro-divergent students can be unreceptive to help in order to “fit in” and not feel singled out. Here are ways to offer support subtly, without drawing attention to the student:
Ask permission: Instead of jumping in to support, ask for permission first:
“Can I grab you an extra copy of the textbook?”
“Do you mind if I go over the assignment outline with you again?”
“Do you mind if I help you get started?”
The “in” and “out” method: Don’t stick around for too long when a student shows that they are not interested in your support. Instead, use questions, noticing, or wondering to help them get started then allow them space to work on their own while also setting the expectation that you will be back to provide additional help. This prepares them for your return and allows them some independence and perhaps additional motivation since they know you will be back to check:
“Awesome, you’ve got all your supplies ready, I’ll be back in a few minutes to see how things are going.” Then walk away.
Provide options: If a student isn’t able to do the expected task in the moment, co-create a list of options for them:
“It seems like math is just not accessible right now; what other things could we work on until you’re feeling up for it?”
“Instead of working on this essay right now, maybe you’d like to go for a short walk/water break or finish up that worksheet from yesterday? What do you think?”
Chunking: When lecturing, break the information into smaller chunks. Pause often to ask questions or let students ask theirs, instead of saving all the questions for the end. This increases engagement and students are less likely to interrupt in fear of forgetting their question or comments. This also allows students time to integrate the information and engage with it, instead of asking them to memorize large amounts of information all at once.
Priming: When lecturing, prime information you wish to share so that students who are easily distracted and/or daydream can be “called back” to focus on important information. Use statements like “Make sure to write this down!” or “This is definitely going to be on the test!” or “Here is something really important to remember.”
Additionally, when sharing stories that are not particularly relevant, prime them with “I have a funny story to tell” or “This isn’t about the assignment, but I want to share a story,” which helps students decipher the difference between the teacher’s storytelling and important academic information to memorize. For students with limited focus, distinguishing between important and merely interesting information can be hard. Teachers should emphasize what’s essential so their attention goes where it matters most.
You can also combine these strategies:
“I wonder where your textbook is; can I grab you one from my desk?”
“I noticed your book is in your cubby; may I go get it for you?”
Supporting neurodivergent students isn’t about trying to force compliance or productivity—it’s about shifting our perspective and adapting our practices in a way that works for all different types of brains. If we can focus on building authentic relationships that honour individual communication styles, offer structured choices while allowing flexibility, and reduce perceived demands, we can increase student engagement and overall success. These approaches not only benefit neurodivergent learners but help create a more inclusive, compassionate, and supportive learning space for all. Please note, that it does not require “more work” to support neurodivergent students. Instead, it asks us to incorporate new strategies that can work well for all students. When we lead with curiosity, connection, and respect for autonomy, we move closer to a school system where no student feels like “the other” and every student feels seen, supported, and capable.
